The Diagnoses

THE MOVIE RETARD
noun (plural re·tards)

1. Someone regarded as zero to average movie intelligence, but may not be necessarily true.
Friend: My favorite part was the dream montage--the lighting and music were so symbolic and amazing!

Amiel: (confused pause) I liked the car chase and when they blew that building up!

Friend: Gah, movie retard! I probably couldn't even have a conversation about the Oscars with you!

Amiel: The what?
2. A person who is mentally challenged, who offers unsolicited and unwelcome commentaries about a movie.
Right before a good scene, "Watch this! Here comes the good part!"
3. Someone who appears to not comprehend what's going on in a movie and deliberately annoys the few people that actually pay attention.
Amiel: What's going on right now?
Friend: He needs to steal money to pay his bills
Amiel: Oh....

Two seconds later....

Amiel: What's happening now?
Friend: AHHHHH you're such a movie retard!!!

WHY THE HECK DID AMIEL CREATE THIS BLOG?
 

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